My room smells like vodka and shame
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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