Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
false alarm, still single
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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