Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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