I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
