I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize