i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
