what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
