it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
