he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
