i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
