My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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