so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
