Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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