Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
