I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
