You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
