I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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