i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
