this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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