Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
