I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
