sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
