playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
