She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
