I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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