Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
false alarm, still single
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
