i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
