so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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