on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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