The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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