Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just threw up on my dentist
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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