dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
