what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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