Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
