OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize