i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
