did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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