My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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