i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
foreskin is a definite game changer
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
