There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
