Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
