Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
