Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
