i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
