So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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