i think i have two assholes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize