I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
