There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Randomize