i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
