; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
