just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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