I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
