Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
