That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
