Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
