How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
