you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
