I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
