You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He shit in the fireplace
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
