I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dick very happy bro
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
