At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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