if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
