i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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