I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
