So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
