I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
